"You must wait and listen for the sound of the genuine that is within you. When you hear it, that will be your voice and the Voice of God."
- Howard Thurman
American author, civil rights leader, and theologian (1899-1981)
Waiting sucks. I've always said that I'm the most patient with people, the least with everything else. And this past year, waiting for an answer on calling and career has been a difficult one. How does one stay sane when waiting and listening for the "Voice of God" when the answers come in coming in second for job after job in careers you thought were your calling.
I have believed that my calling was in ministry. Now through a series of disappointment in finding a position to utilize my skills at a church, I'm grasping for truth in the wreckage of a life of service. In a down economy, church jobs are few and far between. And my other field of expertise, technology, is littered with unemployed applicants with more recent job experience, albeit similiar to mine.
Left with a horrible paying, yet ultimately fulfilling, non-profit job at YouthCare as a Life Skills Coach and Youth Counselor, my hopes in finding a career are again in the balance, while many questions remain. Do I continue to search for positions in ministry or technology? Do I work and wait for a ministry opportunity to plant my own church down the line? Do I "settle" for the fact that my ministry is better served as a lay person with a Masters in Theology? Do I enroll in school to persue teaching?
Teaching is where my future could be. Others have mentioned they have seen the gift of teaching in me. Is that the Voice of God speaking through them? Have I ignored those pleas to teach long enough? My current position teaching Life Skills classes has ignited a spark towards the craft of teaching within. A lot of school in prerequesite classes and tests remain. The time of waiting and listening has almost come to an end. It's now time to act. Although I'm still listening.
"God, I abandon myself into your hands. Do with me whatever you will. Whatever you may do, I thank you. I am ready for all, I accept all. Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures. Into your hands I commend my spirit. I offer it to you with all the love that is in my heart. For I love you, Lord, and so want to give myself, to surrender myself into your hands, without reserve and with boundless confidence. Amen."
- A prayer of Charles de Foucauld
