Doors.

Sunday morning at work. And it's not at a church. My life's path is an interesting one... not one that has been planned, but a path where I seem to have been led to this place for a purpose. But what purpose? To teach? I believe that is where God has set for me to now go, but it is interesting how the door to leading a church has seemingly closed.

Doors open and close everyday. This job has been rewarding spiritually in that I have been able to affect kids truly in need. The lesson to be learned is discipline. Discipline in patience, listening, and reflection... all things reflected frequently in my writings.

Colossians 3:12-13
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Callings, Careers & Questions.

"You must wait and listen for the sound of the genuine that is within you. When you hear it, that will be your voice and the Voice of God."

- Howard Thurman
American author, civil rights leader, and theologian (1899-1981)

Waiting sucks. I've always said that I'm the most patient with people, the least with everything else. And this past year, waiting for an answer on calling and career has been a difficult one. How does one stay sane when waiting and listening for the "Voice of God" when the answers come in coming in second for job after job in careers you thought were your calling.


I have believed that my calling was in ministry. Now through a series of disappointment in finding a position to utilize my skills at a church, I'm grasping for truth in the wreckage of a life of service. In a down economy, church jobs are few and far between. And my other field of expertise, technology, is littered with unemployed applicants with more recent job experience, albeit similiar to mine.

Left with a horrible paying, yet ultimately fulfilling, non-profit job at YouthCare as a Life Skills Coach and Youth Counselor, my hopes in finding a career are again in the balance, while many questions remain. Do I continue to search for positions in ministry or technology? Do I work and wait for a ministry opportunity to plant my own church down the line? Do I "settle" for the fact that my ministry is better served as a lay person with a Masters in Theology? Do I enroll in school to persue teaching?


Teaching is where my future could be. Others have mentioned they have seen the gift of teaching in me. Is that the Voice of God speaking through them? Have I ignored those pleas to teach long enough? My current position teaching Life Skills classes has ignited a spark towards the craft of teaching within. A lot of school in prerequesite classes and tests remain. The time of waiting and listening has almost come to an end. It's now time to act. Although I'm still listening.

"God, I abandon myself into your hands. Do with me whatever you will. Whatever you may do, I thank you. I am ready for all, I accept all. Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures. Into your hands I commend my spirit. I offer it to you with all the love that is in my heart. For I love you, Lord, and so want to give myself, to surrender myself into your hands, without reserve and with boundless confidence. Amen."

- A prayer of Charles de Foucauld

back in black.

This has been a crazy past year and a half, with emotional highs and lows that I never thought I'd see. So I've decided to start writing again my thoughts in devotion and theology of life, love and faith. Today, we start with a simple verse.

Pilate asked him, "So you are a king?" Jesus answered, "You say that I am a king. For this I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice." Pilate asked him, "What is truth?"

- John 18:37-38

The best part about the truth Jesus is speaking about is that God's Spirit of truth lives within us as the Holy Spirit (if you want to learn more, please read Acts 3:1-10). Jesus throughout his time as a human on earth was continually misunderstood, especially when Pilate and others were compelled to call him "king."

But the part that we take as comfort is that Jesus says here that "everyone who belongs to the truth" will hear God's voice if they listen. This means that if you have faith in God, that God will speak to you in that faith. God's voice can come through in our lives in many ways (which we won't get into now), but take hope in that the Spirit of God is with you. Are you listening?