The Beautiful Struggle.

Henri J.M. Nouwen has been my favorite theologian for the past ten years.  And it's not only because he's Dutch.  Although that does make him naturally good looking.  But with new struggles in life, Nouwen's words of consolation and healing have taken on new meaning and have been a source of comfort during these past few months.  Below is a quick daily meditation from Nouwen that continues to speak into my soul.  

"Time heals," people often say.  This is not true when it means that we will eventually forget the wounds inflicted on us and be able to live on as if nothing happened.  That is not really healing;  it is simply ignoring reality.  But when the expression "time heals" means that faithfulness in a difficult relationship can lead us to a deeper understanding of the ways we have hurt each other, then there is much truth in it.  "Time heals" implies not passively waiting but actively working with our pain and trusting in the possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Upon reflecting on these words through the lens of the "truth in it" -- I have started to find strength in truth of the struggle.  It's a beautiful struggle.  Maybe not as beautiful as Talib Kweli lyrically, but my beautiful struggle, nonetheless.

Reflection: Week 4 [Monday]

The Emerging Church is something that I have been a part of for the past 7 years from helping start a church plant in West Seattle that grew to about 150 attendees to seeing the limitations of the model evolve out of a lingering postmodern mindset.

The church I had a pleasure of being involved in was called Doxa Church and we had a church building that was given to a group of a couple dozen of us that were meeting in the basement at the very beginning. From that group, Doxa Church grew out of an emerging church model embracing the arts and music while continuing to root itself into the DNA of the community of West Seattle. [Pictured here is the coffee shop that later was created in the same basement Doxa grew out of]

In the Spring of 2006, the Elders decided to merge into the larger Mars Hill Church congregation and share the [admittedly generous space] large facilities with 500+ of their members that were commuting from West Seattle about 20-30 minutes to Ballard [a section of Seattle just Northwest of Downtown]. This caused many of the attendees to leave, included my family and small group of about 20+ individuals. In retrospect, the decision is a good one for God in allowing 500+ believers to worship in a building directly in their community where they live. But the differences of beliefs of Mars Hill versus Doxa were extreme for most [the biggest three differences being the archaic role of women in the family, aversion against women in ministry, and aggression towards gays & lesbians] and the events still harbor deep wounds for many, including myself, that may never fully heal.

The healing continues in my life. And I pray to continue to learn from my experiences. In the past months, I have felt called to write about peoples lives and how the Church has wounded them through doctrine, traditions, and beliefs that alienate people instead of loving them for their differences.

So if anyone has story they'd like to share, please let me know. I'd love to talk about it over a hot cocoa or cold soda.