The Beautiful Struggle.

Henri J.M. Nouwen has been my favorite theologian for the past ten years.  And it's not only because he's Dutch.  Although that does make him naturally good looking.  But with new struggles in life, Nouwen's words of consolation and healing have taken on new meaning and have been a source of comfort during these past few months.  Below is a quick daily meditation from Nouwen that continues to speak into my soul.  

"Time heals," people often say.  This is not true when it means that we will eventually forget the wounds inflicted on us and be able to live on as if nothing happened.  That is not really healing;  it is simply ignoring reality.  But when the expression "time heals" means that faithfulness in a difficult relationship can lead us to a deeper understanding of the ways we have hurt each other, then there is much truth in it.  "Time heals" implies not passively waiting but actively working with our pain and trusting in the possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Upon reflecting on these words through the lens of the "truth in it" -- I have started to find strength in truth of the struggle.  It's a beautiful struggle.  Maybe not as beautiful as Talib Kweli lyrically, but my beautiful struggle, nonetheless.

Doors.

Sunday morning at work. And it's not at a church. My life's path is an interesting one... not one that has been planned, but a path where I seem to have been led to this place for a purpose. But what purpose? To teach? I believe that is where God has set for me to now go, but it is interesting how the door to leading a church has seemingly closed.

Doors open and close everyday. This job has been rewarding spiritually in that I have been able to affect kids truly in need. The lesson to be learned is discipline. Discipline in patience, listening, and reflection... all things reflected frequently in my writings.

Colossians 3:12-13
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Silence & Discipline.

Silence frees us from the need to control others ... A frantic stream of words flows from us in an attempt to straighten others out. We want so desperately for them to agree with us, to see things our way. We evaluate people, judge people, condemn people. We devour people with our words. Silence is one of the deepest Disciplines of the Spirit simply because it puts the stopper on that. - Richard Foster

The discipline of silence is closely tied to meditation and the art of listening. These related disciplines are something I have been attempting to master over the past two years, as I have tried to remain patient and calm during a time of stress with the ups and downs of the economy, employment, and ongoing family drama.


It is always interesting when silence does much better work in a situation than does language or words. See, I love words. I play Scrabble daily online with friends, daily learn a word of the day, while continually enjoying reading and writing in my spare time. [When Liverpool or the Mariners aren't playing, of course] Words give me joy. But so too does silence.

When someone feels comfortable enough to open up their pain and sorrows, joy and triumphs, it gives me great pleasure knowing that my role in their life played a small part. And if one does not allow for silence in waiting, there is no room to breathe, no room for grow to occur. One must discover for themselves to grow fully. Letting go of the control of words is a powerful tool. And it is a difficult discipline because it gives the other person in the conversation, relationship, or partnership, control. But in doing so, we can breathe new life.